With Every Fiber of My Being. — December 29, 2015

With Every Fiber of My Being.

Care. Open your heart. Even if it means looking like a fool. Even if it means you can get hurt. Painful feelings eventually pass, but it’s harder to dissolve the regrets you hold in your heart.

Say what you feel. Tell people that you care and love them, because it is not guaranteed when you will see or talk to them again. You never know when they will disappear from your life. Enjoy, cherish and appreciate all the time you spend with them or even just talking to them if seeing them isn’t possible.

Just love, dammit!

And spread love wherever you go and with whomever you meet. You never know how much your words and actions of love, compassion and hope can touch another soul.

Also, love yourself as much as you would love another.

Sure, “I love you” gets tossed around a lot and sometimes, people don’t truly mean it. But, by God, just say it even if you think you feel a little of it! Even if you’re not sure, just express yourself. Say your piece. Yell, cry, scream, talk it out because you deserve to! You’re a fucking human being with thoughts, feelings, and ideas. You deserve to voice them out.

True love is rare, yes, but how will you know the difference if you keep closing your heart every time you get hurt? How will you know if you don’t try and find out?

Don’t you owe it to yourself to find things out, not just about love? Don’t you deserve to question, discover, and learn?

“Look, you’re going to fail a lot before things work out. Even though you’ll probably fail over and over and over again, you have to try every time! You can’t quit because you’re afraid you might fail.”

And…last but not least: always, always be true to yourself.

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10 Sankalpas in the Present Tense. — December 18, 2015

10 Sankalpas in the Present Tense.

I am working on finding a more stimulating and fulfilling job after April 2016.

I swear to God, I am planning to go on some kind of trip at least 2x in 2016.

I am saving enough money to get my own apartment by my birthday in 2016.

I am finding and surrounding myself with people who can see and love the real me and do not bring me down, energy-wise.

I am working towards discovering and being my best self.

I am continuously aiming to achieve “open-mind status” each and every day.

I am choosing to redirect my thoughts and feelings so that I can behave positively in every situation that comes my way.

I am nurturing the relationships I have now.

I am focusing on the present moments and learning how to worry less about the future.

I am shifting my focus to how I want to live my life and what I want to make happen.

 

This Needs To Change. — December 15, 2015
What I Want. — December 8, 2015

What I Want.

I want someone to meet me halfway; I want things to be a two-way street.

Like, maybe it won’t always be equal;
it won’t always be 50/50 and maybe it’ll only be 60/40 most of the time,
but I want you to take initiative.

I want us to make time for each other.
I get it, you’re busy, we’re all busy.
But it’s true that we make time for the things & the people that we care about.

I want the little things that show you appreciate someone.
Even if it’s only a ‘I just wanted to say hello’ text.
Or a link to something that you think I might like or find funny.
Even if it’s just ‘good morning,’
or a ‘guess what I had for lunch today?’

And it doesn’t have to be every day,
but I don’t want it to feel like it’s so intermittent that I start to wonder if you’ve strayed.

I want open communication; I want you to ask me questions.
What are your thoughts? What are your feelings?
“These are my thoughts, these are my feelings.”
I want you to be comfortable enough to want to share those.
I get it, it’s private and there are things you’d rather keep to yourself.
‘Me too,’
but aren’t there things that you would want to share with me?

I want whatever we are to be healthy.
I want to be my own person with my own life and my freedoms,
and want you to be your own person with your own life and your own freedoms.
But, I still want us to want to come together & be with each other.

I want to grow in love, not “fall in love,” nor fall into infatuation or codependency.
But, I still want us to help each other out, in ways that help the other grow into the best version of themselves that they can and would like to be.

I want both of us to feel happy and secure and calm and comfortable whenever we’re around each other.
I want to feel good and great when we’re not around each other.

I want to be on the same page with where we both want this to go;
I want to know if we’re both headed in the same direction, holding each other’s hands and neither of us wants to let go.

This is what I want but I am not going to run after it any longer.