I don’t think it’s the breakup itself that is the worst part of a relationship; it’s the putting yourself back together afterwards. It’s the part of the story where you have to go on living your own life after their chapter ends. It’s when you have to reset and adjust your life back to the way it was before they showed up or even change it for the better.
I’m torn. I feel eviscerated and it’s entirely my doing. I broke my own heart in the process and don’t have enough fire left in me to put it back together or to keep moving forward.
All I wanted in this life was to find someone to love and that would love me back and be my best friend; someone that would stay in my life forever, not out of convenience, but because they chose me day in and day out. Good mood, bad mood, hangry, what have you. Any of these things and they’d still think I was the best person for them. (Speaking romantic-wise, not friends or family.)
All this probably sounds incredibly naive and I probably sound like a teenager, but I don’t care. It’s the truth.
I don’t care about anything or anyone anymore. I’m 29 years old and even though time is an illusion, I’m done. I’m done with this life.
See you on the other side, maybe.